What can take you out of the game?

In the movie “Seven Days in Utopia,” Robert Duvall’s character shares a nugget of wisdom with the young golf player whose career has just blown up.  He shares,

“The toughest challenge you’ll face isn’t your competitors scores, it’s that casual comment offered by someone, anyone, about how you should be doing it.  If you don’t have conviction about what your foundation is, that off-handed comment will take you out of your game and erode your confidence.”


Wow.  Has that ever happened to you? Someone makes a casual comment about what you’re doing and it causes you to question everything you know.  Well, when he shared that on the movie, it literally brought tears to my eyes.  Just two days prior, a well meaning person uttered one of those “casual comments” that rocked me to the core.  What they said wasn’t about what I was doing, but rather what I SHOULD be doing in their eyes.  It took me aback, it made me angry, it made me question everything that I am and am pursuing.  I don’t know why some comments have the power to unnerve us and knock us off our game, but they do. Those questions are the kind that make you ponder and think through your goals, beliefs, and convictions.

That’s exactly what happened to me.  As I began to let the doubt and questioning sink in, I sorted through lots of different emotions in getting to the bottom of my actions.  Why are we pursuing some large business goals? Why am I involved in these things? What is the heart behind it? And most importantly, is my heart right in doing it all? But to be honest, the search was really  necessary.  The search for the root cause of why we do what we do was necessary.  Digging through the motivations, visions, purposes of all it all really helped to form that solid foundation and conviction that Duvall’s character was talking about.

So, the next time a casual comment from an observer of your life begins to rock your world, don’t let it throw you into a pit of confusion.  Think about what they said. Examine your motives and actions in the deepest parts.  Look for that foundation.  If they’re right, then thank them for teaching you something.  If they’re wrong, perhaps you should still thank them–for making you think and making your foundation, your conviction stronger so that you can stand in confidence the next time that “casual comment” comes along.

I would love to hear your experience and your best advice for dealing with this scenario…please share in the comments!

Stay true,


PS: Not to worry, I do have some pictures to get up for you soon!




  • Damion said:

    Aw Deb, thank you so much for those inspiring words!! Youre right, it is a little tricky these days and we do have to open our selves up a little more. Thank you for the very kind words. You are inspiring and a blessing!!! xoxoxo

  • deb said:

    Well spoken Julie! It's so true and especially when you're older, like me, in a business like this. One would think I had all the confidence in the world and I do, except when this happens and often times it's my own voice I hear, questioning everything. I believe that social media is a very humbling force in the equation of casual comments too. People know more and dig deeper into our lives and we are very, very vulnerable. I often want to quit all social media and I look up at my Lord and say, "I trust you for everything in my life, but this. If I quit, will you bring me the work I love so much, will you help me help my husband pay those bills, etc. Then I try and expose myself and it always seems there is someone there reminding me why I do this and it's because I truly love it. What we have to do these days to stay alive in this business is so against our core beliefs and it opens us up so much more to everyone's opinions of us. I started in an era that was not like this at all and one would have to really get to know you to even make a comment that could rock your world.

    I also wanted to say, it's been a long time since I've checked in and Damion's work is stunning and you are both working so hard and I can tell. It's a competitive world now, goals are harder fought, relationships are harder fought, priorities are harder fought, etc., but I can see that you and Damion have stayed the course and stayed strong.

    God Bless you both,
    deb ox

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